Zinc Easelberger

Zinc Easelberger (born as Gautama Bootya) is a member of the Actual Strange Booty Adventure Crew and the owner of a notoriously tight ass that has been known to cause cataclysmic black holes that eliminate massive population, including the one at the Tragedy at Hannenheim.

Early Life
Gautama Buhdya was born around 300 BC in the most war torn ramparts of the Near East. Gautama lived a normal life of complete starvation, instability, and war in the region. Despite everyone and everything he ever loved dying in horribly gruesome deaths (his mother was boiled alive in a puddle of his own semen), Gautama survived his desolate life.

Around 220 BC, Gautama, an old man filled with regret and with no wife or children (for he was a fedora-wearing, neckbearded autistic engineer) traveled the known world to discover its secrets. After several years of travels that brought him to his knees to suck Death's dick, he discovered the Flumen of Spollum (the River of Booty). Upon drinking its holy and rejuvenating waters, Gautama Boota was blessed with eternal life. Blessed with youthfulness once again, Gautama continued his travels, deciding to start a religion for easy money.

Mooching Suckers for Dat Cash Money Boy
Gautama traveled from India to the Middle East, spreading his teachings and enlightenment to all who crossed his path. His religion, which he named "Bootyism" was often misheard as Buddhism, but Gautama didn't really give a fuck because of all that cash money.