The Booty Civil War of 2013

The Great Booty Civil War is a cataclysmic civil war in 2013 in the Actual Strange Booty Adventure Crew. The build-up of autism within the group and the edition of new member ET led to the crew dividing into sides and taking arms against each other. The first battle, lasting an estimated two hours, laid waste to the entire midwestern United States. A peace treaty was created an intended to be signed at Versailles, Missouri before Analius Boobfloop desecrated it with his cancer. The war is currently in a temporary truce when both sides became hungry and decided to go get some food.

Before the Conflict
Late in December 2013, the Actual Strange Booty Adventure Crew was chilling, maxing, relaxing all cool after Beige Rocklathe's epic Black Veil Brides concert in town. They ate fast food like they always do to keep Zinc's booty from collapsing again. Afterward, Beige, Joe Hansen, Kenneth Liar, Zinc Easelberger, Analius Boobfloop, and Sergeevitch Spergmaestra headed to Beige's pimp castle and inducted ET, one of Beige's groupies, into the Booty crew.

As they began to plan their next booty adventure around the old water cooler, they decided to waste their fucking time by playing a good round of shooting each with guns. Naturally, this blew up in their fucking faces so bad that the whole world was pushed to the brink of destruction.

Battle at Rocklathe Castle (Midwest Wasteland)
In the battling arena inside the pimp castle, the combatants picked their teams and sides. Zinc, Kenneth, and ET and Sergeevitch joined forces against Analius, Beige, and Joe. Faced against superior weapons, fortifications, and skills, Zinc, Kenneth, and ET were forced to stay under as they were assaulted by bullets, left with only incompetence and dart guns.

Finally, Zinc grew a pair a balls. With his measley pistol and grenades, Zinc charged the other side's fortifications and devastated them with his tight booty. The barriers were brought down, and without warning the war esculated far beyond what anyone could have seen.

Tbaby Rap God got a bloody lip. He was then given the ability to create even sicker beats.

T̙̳̭͎̜̩͈͕̱͓͂̏̃͐̂͑̽̋͛͘H̢̩̫̟̝͖͓̯̪̺̃̾̂́͆̏͑͂̕͝Ë̻̞̜̙͚̻̼͓̥͚́̈́̇̇̓̀̾́̀̓ ̨͙͎̙̠̖͖̻̲̜͛́̈́̊̏͊̅͂́͠D̡̢̛̜͈͖͉̜͙̲̂͊̇̆͆͌́̇́ͅÅ̧̨͍͚͕̮̬̥̄̃̾̀̈́̕̕͘̕͜ͅR̺̩̝͇̫͓͓̦̰͙̅̈́̏́̑̍̈̓̋̕K͔͎͈̭̲͔̤̻̰͋̉̅̔͛̀͛̇͘͜͠ ̢͈̗̮̘̞͍͉̞̹͛͌̉͛̀͊̒̈́̅͘Ļ̨͍̣͎̯̖͍̲̌̿̿̇̉͛̈́̍̾̿͜Ǫ͖͕̮͇̪̳̩͕͚̂̀̾͂̓͋͑̈́͗́Ṛ̡̖͇͍͉̦̟̳͈̏̂̌̓͐͌̈́͋̕͠D̰̣̩̩̠̯̖͉̤͆͋̀̈̿̓̒̎͛̚ͅ ̢̪̯͇͕̖̣̘̦̐̅͐̿͐̈́̆̈́͒̽ͅS̳͚͙̪̼̺̤̬̥̦̀̃̓͑̽̿̔̓͘͝Ṃ̨͔̗̻͚̭̻̠̈́̓͗̾̍͆̽͑̚͘ͅĮ̛̼̦̣̮̖̞̆̔̑̉̒̓͋̽͘͜͜ͅL̢̡̳̹͍̺̹̼̪͂̔͆͂̈́͛̆̉̀͝ͅE̢̦̞͕̤̗̪̦͈͗̎̿̍͐̀̓̈́͛̇͜D̨̡͓̳̥͍͓͎̭̄͒̓̓̑̍̔͑̍̚ͅ ̡̢͈͉͉̯͍͙̫̍̎̈́̅̓̍̄͘̚͝ͅF̡̨̬͈̦͚̯̥̘̀̄̒́̒͗͛̍͝͝ͅR̨̧͕̘̘̤̹̠͖̈̔̏̈́̋͒͆̊̉͠ͅO̧̢̪̣̙̲͇̦̥̒̽̾̎͑̒͊͘͝͝ͅḾ̡̨̜̩͇͕̠̺͎͉̓̋͋͒̌͋̈́̚̚ ̨̼̦͔̣̥͙͕̤̳͐̀̓̍̀́͋̑̈̓H̢̠̱̗̗͔̹̝͉̭͊̂͆̓̄́̈́̆̚͘Į̤̭̻̲͎̩̞̩͙͗̐̈́̑̔͆̂̂̕͠S̡̺͓̯̫̼̫̝̫̲̽̿́̔̓̇̔̈́͒͗ ̧͍͈͙͚̼̯͍̟̈́̏̋̑̀̀͐̿̄͜͝F̨͇̰̠͍̝͕̥̘̄͌́́̃͊̊̎͌̚͜R̢̥̞͕̭̘͎̯̙͂̌̒͆̒̽̈̆̅͘ͅǪ̢̡̨̨̛̹͕̞̜̘̆̿̀͛̈́̿̿̚N̡͇͖̺̫͎̤̖̤͕͛͋̎̏͛͆̄̋͆͘Ţ̫͈̘͖̗̤̟͔̉́̍̑͐̀̉̌̈͜͝ ͚͙͍̦͙̝̹̥̙̞̄͗̈́̀̽̓̓̾͛̓S̝̩̣͉̥͖̣͖̥̙̔͗́͐̿̔̉̚̕͝Ë̛̪̖̘̬͓͔̲̣͎́͐̀̉̋̈́̓̇͜͝A̧̡̼͖͇̳̥̪̻̽́̅̏̾͊̓̀̔͘͜Ţ͕̠̩̦̻̣̙̮̟̏̄̊̈́̅̃̀̐̕͝ ̛͖͙͖͈̦̤̮͙̅͌͐̈́̒̌̈̆̕͜ͅA̙̺͖̜͚̪̰̩͓͊̐͒̀̏͋̽̇͒͘͜N̥̩̫̹̟̳͈̤̼͕̒̀̂̔̀̏̈̽̚͝D̯̹̙̜̘̭͖̰̺̈́̐̑̇͐̂̎͊̉͊͜ ̧̜̺̮̰̫̪̯̪̮̊͊̑̆̀͆̆͆̐̐B̧̼̠͈̞̜͍̲̪̾̒̍̿͗͐̆͑̾͂͜Ȩ̖͇̬̻̣̠̹͍͗͂͗̔͒͑͂́̍̚͜G̛̟̦̯͔͈̞̻̥̞̮̿̎͌͌̑̓̽͘͝Ȁ̢̛̺̬͕͙̤̪͔̟͍̍̓̃̀̏͌̒̑N̨̲̘̺̻͓͓̪͚̓̌̄͂̑͂̃̈́̇͜͝ ̡̡̰̞͙͈̥̣͉̓̆͗͛͗́̊̇͘̚͜T̪̩̥͔̹̗̻̞̲̬̾̇̇̍̄̈́̓̑̅͘Ǫ̙̮̻̲̬͇̫̙̼̏̒̋͊́̓̔̉̚͠ ̹̰̮͉̤̯̱͇̠̯́̏́̑͋̀͊̌́̓Ả̧̡̛̯͍̹̗̯̻͕̗̑̊́̀̈́̍̓̚P̲̖̪͇̝̬̫̜̟̄͋̉̍̉͗̀̀͊͜͝P̧̛̛̣̭̗̮̞͕̳̙͕̀̐̍̔̈̍̈̕L̡̘̞͉̬͔̺̝͔̫̂͆̉̾̄̌͒̈́̓̂Ą̰̩͖͙̤͚̜̫͈̅̀͆́̀̽̇̕͝͝Ũ͇̪̺͙̟̫̗̳̺̮͊̋̃̊̅͆̍̎͝D̳̺̦͙̦͕̹̱̻̩̀̅̐̋̊̏͆̽̊̕ ̡̛͕͖͖͎̖̖̲̱̤͊̀͊́̇͘͠͠͝Ṫ̯̭̹̘̙͈̠̭͈̏̊͑́̏̂̋̋͜͠Ȟ̡̧̟̫̥̫̤̟̭̈̓̇͐͑͋̂̾͘͜E̢̹̹͙̘͉̥̫̗͒̈́͐̅̋͋̈́͘̕͜͝ ̧̨̳͈̻̻̮̜͈̖̆̉̌̋́͂̄̃̇̀Ş̢̣̼͉̺͙̦̻̣̓̆̿̄͌̀̑́͘̕Ẽ̬̫̦̦̘̞͉̯̱͕͌͋̏͆̌̐̉̔̚Ņ̛̥͎͚̺͖̦̝̹̠̀̂̃̔̀́̽̑̈́Ŝ̡̠͖̝͓̩̥̝̱̩͆̽̉̀̎͒̅̾͝E̢̯̮͓͔̯͙̬̥̺̾̈́̅̊̽̑̃͘͠͠Ļ̲̖̭̮̼̭̥̥͆͑̇̆̑́̋́̌͜͝Ẻ̘͖̤̯̤̳̤̪̖̤̽͂̌́̐͊͒̐͠Ş̧͖͕̦̻̰̻͎̹̊̇͊͛̐̍͛͗͂͝S̨̗͇͇̲͉̞͔̱̬̿̑͌͐͛͗̀͒͒̓ ̨̧̹̣̞̯͇̫̼̻̍̈́͐͊̋̂̑̇̑̚V̨̲̫̜̭̩͍̪͛̒́̌́̇̉̀̅̚͜͜I̜̖͉̠̞̰͖͇̣̪̒̃̽̃͊̍͗͗́͋O̤̙̩̫̲̻̳̫͙͌̔̊̾̆̇̇͘͜͠͝L̛͉̰̤̖̤͎͈̞̻̒̔͆́̑̚͜͠͠͝E̦̮̝͚̯̰̟̰̮̓͛̌̆͗̏͘͘̕̚͜N̥̖͕͔͍̯̙̮̠̝̍̓̊̑̈́͂͑͐͗̕C̑͛̍̓͂̍Ė̫͕̗̻̭̠͙̘̿̄̕͜ͅẸ̞͎̺̪͔̘͍̼̑͛̈́̄̔͑̋̍́̚ͅ.̢̥̜̲̘̜͉̺̭̈́̊̀̃̒͌̀̕̚͜͝ ̡̧͕̖̦̤̩͈͇̒̈́̎̏̈͐̀͛͐͜͝